Living with Strangers in my Own Country: The New Roommate - Part I

“Hi Meita & Florence, this weekend there will be a Indonesia Chinese girl coming in from Indo. She is a student studying in Delasalle art school. FYI only.”

This was the sms from the landlady. “FYI only”, so informing us that Cindi, the landlady finally found another new tenant, a roommate to replace the previous tenant who left in December last year.

“Life will not be the same again, at least for me”…hahaha, I thought to myself.

It was 6pm last Sunday, I was in the library and heard my handphone vibrating. I panicked each time my handphone rang. (“Face reality” this was something I learnt from Meita, my existing roommate of 14 months. Meita is a young but matured Chinese Indonesian PR here. Educated in Singapore starting from Primary school and graduated from Polytechnic last year. She is as good as a Singaporean now, she speaks our lingo and behaves like one of us, haha.)

I checked my phone, I missed 2 calls earlier, it was Cindi, the landlady. “Oh, not again, I thought to myself, what’s the matter with the new tenant now?” I was in the library and was not convenient to speak nor return her call. I was thinking, she should be able to handle it herself.

I used to stay at home during weekends to recharge and rest after working almost 15 hours a day on 2 jobs, it is Mondays to Fridays one week and Mondays to Saturdays another. Thus, anyone can imagine how I treasure my Sundays.

However, it was different last Sunday - I left for the library instead. I slept early last Saturday around 9pm so that I would be well rested for Sunday and to avoid having to receive the new roommate.

I am not an unaccommodating person; just that the landlady made me meet two prospective tenants previously, one of them, the first foreigner was a big turn-off, I felt really offended by her attitude.

….. and why did the landlady did that? you might be asking.

Well, after the last roommate left us in December 2010, the landlady made us signed for 12 months’ rental contract instead of the original 6 months. I felt forced to sign, because the landlady approached me while I was ironing my clothes and pester on even though I told her my reasons for not wanting to sign a 12 months’ rental contract. It was also done even before the previous contract expired in May this year. I felt forced and cornered to sign the renewal in March 2011 while I had until April 2011 to decide.

My reservations were that in the event that I cannot get along with the new roommate for some reasons or another, I would be trapped there to fulfill one year’s contract.

The other reason was that my condition might change and I have to move out or I might want to change.

This is the beauty of renting shared accommodation - move and change if you do not like it.

Cindi promised that she would treasure existing tenants and will make sure that new tenants will be given priority and will ensure we like the new tenants, in a way to assure us to sign the 12 months rental contract.

Now I regretted signing the 12 months’ rental contract……


………. To be continued

Living with Strangers in my Own Country

When I tell people I rented a bed space sharing a room with three other girls, they would immediately ask me: “are you a Singaporean?”

"Yes, I am born and bred in Singapore.  I am 100% Singaporean." 

"Then why are you sharing a room with foreigners? Don’t you live with your parents? Do you not have siblings?" they continued to ask.

I stepped into a “new world” and change the way I live the day I shared a room with 3 other girls in a terrace house in Eastern Singapore and living with strangers in my own country. 

Are renting rooms and doing room-share only meant for foreigners?

I don’t blame Singaporean taking it for granted that it is a norm here to own your property, to live with parents or to live with siblings, because even foreigners have the same mentality.

The common reaction I get from foreigners is – “oh, I thought Singapore is a rich country and the government takes care of everything”.

My plans to buy my own public housing apartment is beyond reach now that the cash-over-valuation of between 10 to 20K S$ for a flat with holes in the ceiling and defects you cannot spot and the housing agent commission and the repairs and renovation costs etc are too much for me to bear even though the sum in my CPF account is enough for me to own a three room HDB flat without a housing loan. 

So, I have to settle with living the boarding style minus the headmistress. (smile)

It takes more than just living with people you are not familiar with. 

First and foremost, getting along with roommates is utmost priority.   Harmony is conducive to calm and peaceful living, therefore, it is beneficial to make adjustment in our attitudes and lifestyles which in turn, creates harmonious relationship.

By adjustment of attitude, I meant, no small things is worth spoiling the relationship with people.  Bear in mind that everything are shared, such as, space, utilities and time, so you need to give and take, make the best of it.  

Going into such situation with the right attitude will spare us unhappiness and inconvenience as we live and get along with people.

On the way to the supermarket, try asking your room mate if she wants something and offer to pick it up for her. In the long run, it is always worth maintaining a harmonious relationship with people around you, not just roommates. 

Give  your roommate something that she needs, let your roommate use something that was needed and not available to her at that moment, it is not the giving that matters, it is the attitude of extending hospitality and friendship, and your roommate will pick up on that and do the same.

Getting angry with your roommate? Get out of the situation and cool off.  Words spoken in a fit of anger and at the wrong time could ruin relationship and it is always not worth spoiling the relationship.

Overall, it is not too bad going with the change which is enough to let me overlook the disadvantage of not having my own space for privacy when I needed it.

I am satisfied living where I am now and living with strangers that keeps me company.

Affinity

The bus moved on ...I set off on an aimless destination.  I had the earphones on and the music was interrupted by an incoming call.

My handphone screen showed “coffee lady”.  I was surprised and yet wonder if Josephine (Jo, in short) had spoken to her about our conversation the previous night.

I pressed the button to take the call.  “Hello! Do you know who is calling” the caller asked me.  I said, “Yes – you are Auntie Mary”.  I heard her laughed merrily over the other end.   

Auntie Mary said in Mandarin – “shēngrì kuàilè” which means “happy birthday” then someone in the background corrected her to pronounce: “Shèngdàn jié kuàilè” – that says “Merry Christmas”.  And she pronounced it correctly.  What a lovely effort.  Auntie Mary is 69 years old.  I thanked Auntie Mary for her well wishes.

“Have you found a job?” auntie Mary asked.  I told her I have not.  Then she said “Màn man lái” in Mandarin, which means – slowly or take it easy.

Auntie Mary asked where I was and what was I doing.  I told her I am on the bus and on the way to the church.  It was a lie or half-lie, because I set off looking for “Holy Spirit” church in Thomson Road.  The bus rode past the church, I saw the whole compound packed with cars. I didn't alight, because I felt intimidated by the crowd and the packed compound with cars and nobody was outside.  (I told myself, never mind, go back to the Novena, then).  The Novena church is where I usually visit at night to pray privately.

That was last evening, it was Christmas Eve.

I met Auntie Mary when I joined the company recently to handle the company’s accounts.  When I left the company barely 38 days into the job, we hugged each other so very tightly.  The bosses’ secretary was at my workstation then and Auntie Mary said to her – “she is my daughter”. I can sense that Auntie Mary was very sad, she likes me.  I cannot believe the natural attraction between the two of us - Auntie Mary and me for we had only known each other for 38 days, only seeing each other for 3 hours each day.  I love her coffee she makes me every day.  How nice if she is my mother, I don't mind.  (I missed my own biological mom, she had passed on and I am as good as all alone in this world now.)

And I know, Auntie Mary can never be my mother.